Day Three: 2018

I can't believe I'm still awake. I was supposed to have a decent sleep schedule by now. Shit, I'm getting up at 6:30 for a run. So much for New Years Resolutions. But, I guess this is what happens when you stay up until 9PM, eat cake you really really shouldn't eat, and spend three hours creating a health and fitness board on Pinterest that's really just full of thinspo. Way to check the "work on my mental well-being" resolution.

Right now, I'm considering doing as many sit ups as I can to pass the time, but really that just means sneaking downstairs and scoffing my face. On the other hand I know that I simply must find a way of squeezing into the £50 worth of size 10 clothes I bought from prettylittlething.com so I'm trying my hardest to resist the last slice of glossy chocolate cake that's sat on the kitchen counter.

Just drink two pints of water my brain tells me. Which is a pretty decent idea since I'm probably dehydrated, hence the wild food cravings and my dry mouth, but that would mean having to physically walk past the cake, to consider pouring myself a large, dissatisfying bowl of cereal and making a cup of sugary tea... I literally have no self control any more.

For example, when I was buying my clothes last night (again in a massive wave of desperate insomnia) I decided it would be a great idea to get all of the items in a size 10, which is on average the size I am now, except it's a little tight and a bit unforgiving when it comes to prettylittlething.com. Of course, with aid from very tight spanx and my waist trainer, I can somewhat fit into the dresses. But at what cost?! But when I go to get a size up, (which is a 12) it just kind of hangs on me in a way that just doesn't look right.

I'm literally a size 11. Right in the middle. So I have two choices: Go up a size and hate my disgusting body. Or, go down the road of having no appetite at all and ending up looking like a sad, skeletal version of my former self. But hey! At least I'll be a size 10!

Anyways, I have no clue what this blog is going to be, or if i'm going to keep up with it.

Later losers, have some free unrealistic thinspo